Tuesday, 11 August 2009

Rum, Sodomy and the Lash

Last weekend was ma birthday so a wee blow out was well in order. Turned into a proper topper: saw Tom Tom Crew (tip top hip hop inspired nonsense from fit young Aussies), wolfed curry at Khushi's Diner (great scran and byob wi nae corkage), attended the Mela (South Asian arts festival) in Pilrig Park, took in Rough Cut Nation at the National Portrait Gallery (must go back when it's quieter) then danced and spraffed masel dizzy at Headspin. Wound down with an extended Sunday sesh in Easter Road's Royal Nip (cheap as chapaties, rough as rocks, friendly as fuck and plenty raucous punk on the jukie).

I highly recommended all of the above, though you'll have to wait a year for the next Mela.

This week was supposed to involve watchin Scotland hump Macedonia (surely) at the fitba, deliverin loadsa phonebooks and listening to Archie MacPherson in conversation. Alas, poor Archie, summat else has come up.

Tomorrow morn i'm takin a ferry from Cairnryan to Larne then bussing up to Ballycastle in north County Antrim to hook wi my favourite fisherman. The following day i'll be out at sea chasin queenies for up to 12 days. For a strict veggie landlubber like masel, this is indeed a strange choice of activity. I am (almost literally) cackin masel at the thought of it (strange, nervous, gurgley belly).

What if i spew up aw the time? What if i cannae take the smell o fish, diesel and sweat? What if shiting in a bucket's no as easy as it sounds? What if my soft wee body crumbles after a coupla long long days of proper graft? The negative possibilities are kinda endless but the positives mos def outweigh them bigstyle.

If i can hack it, i'll be doing something most peeps only get to watch on telly, i'll meet new and very different people, i'll lose some weight and get a bit fitter, i'll have loadsa time to read, i should sleep well cos i'll be knackered every night, i'll surely come back wi some great tales to tell and i might even earn a coupla bob while i'm at it.

So i could be gone for a coupla weeks. Please be nice to Mand if you see her. Don't tell my maw what i'm up to cos the worry will ruin her wee break in Ibiza. And if you do see me skulkin down the Walk in less than 12 days time, don't rub it in too hard that i wisnae up to it. I may well no be, but at least i'll gie it a bash.



  1. Sounds well wild, hope it all goes well.

  2. What some people will do for blog fodder. ;-)

    Sounds very interesting, Naldo. I hope you have a good time.

    And Happy Birthday, belatedly... :-)

  3. Hope you find your sea legs quick, enjoy.

  4. Don't wish to be a pedant, but it's Norway we're playing tomorrow evening.

    Bet you 20p you huv a ball.

  5. The rum and the lash mebbe... no too sure about the sodomy though....
    All the best wi shiting in a bucket and look forward to some bawdy nautical tales.

  6. What a post title - I thought you'd been to an avant-garde play! ;)
    I have to say, rather you than me on the whole fish-boat thing!

  7. Happy birthday for last weekend, enjoy the sea fishing, remember when being seasick, to swallow when you see the black round object about to vomit from your mouth, as its your asshole, and tell us all when you get back.

  8. Well i must say i am very impressed with your antics at sea! I could not myself manage 12 days at sea let alone 12 days at the Edinburgh festival. Think i will be back in Auld reekie start of Sept as it finishes :)
    The country air in Fife has done me some good me thinks, so why move back? Feck kens! Oh aye the glory of the Spl starts then i can watch you all squirm in total hatred as yer teams amount to nae challenge. Any one want to buy a ticket for the Macedonia game?????

  9. Hey gadgies, thanks for all your wishes and that.

    Just had 36 hours ashore, spent most of them sleeping and hardly had the strength to lift a coupla pints to my lips last night (tho i did manage it.)

    All i can say just now is, if you eat fish or seafood, never ever take it for granted cos the peeps at the sharp end go through a shit loada shit to grab it out the sea. I'm sure youse had an inkling of it but i must admit i never knew quite how hard it would be. It's truly mental hard work and a wee bit scary at times anaw.

    We're sailing ftom Stranraer to an area between Kintyre, Islay and Rathlin Island (Northern Ireland) at 10 tonight, ready to scoop up a few tons of queenies from first light the morn. I'll write a bit about it and maybe put up some pics when i get the chance.

    In the meantime, all the best, love yiz aw, awkuntzbarry.

  10. Very funny blog - good luck on your fishing boat - man, that's hard work.