Wednesday 16 December 2009

Never Mind The Bollocks


It's Christmas time, there's no need to be afraid.

Unless yer job's to humph lazy gadgie's (erm...sorry...valued customer's) messages up 4 flights o tenement stairs. What was it wi those cheapskate Victorians that they didnae speak to Otis or Schindler and instal lifts in the flats? Sheesh!

And what is it wi some good peeps of Embra that they cough up actual dosh for bottled water instead o turnin on a tap?

I hate to moan (honest, guv) but fir fuck sake, last Friday night some radge valued customer had me heavin 84 litres o bottled water plus assorted crates o beer, boxes o wine and frozen vol au vent cases (gastronome superbique) to the top floor of a Polwarth flat. I lived for many a year in Polwarth and the tap gear tasted like Himalayan dew.

Taste the thunder!

Moan over. My belly's shrunk a bit, i've got muscles again and the weirdo plastic water guzzlers indirectly pay me a wage. It may be the root of all evil (it is for sure, nae doots there) but cally dosh is mighty handy when you've been largely without for a while.

So right now i'm kinda diggin this xmas consumption madness. I may hardly see ma pals and get mighty jealous of a weekend when they're out there doin the stuff but come New Year i'll be trimm as trab and back in the black.

And i can only thank the sweet baba Jesus for that.

3 comments:

  1. And I was wondering if you'd been abducted by a herd of marauding haggises.

    We drink bottled water only chez jane, as our tap tastes inexplicably like chemicals (whereas the water in surrounding towns in fine - I try not to think about this too much).

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  2. No fears, J, just busy as phuck - either workin, sleepin or moanin bout my achey breaky bones so i've no had much to say.

    I mind the tap water in Kent/East Sussex used to be chalky nonsense that made yer kettle go fluffy on the inside. London stuff tastes like it has a wee dash of other people's pish.

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  3. London stuff DOES by the wee. Really hard to get wet in the stuff...

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