Thursday, 18 June 2009

Messy Nessy

As many bairns of the early 70's will testify, successful Apollo missions, Dr Who and Space 1999 lead us to believe we'd soon all zip around in jet packs, looking like David Bowie and eating delicious yet nutritious 3 course meals in single tablet form. By the 1980's it was clearly all up - the mountain bike was the future of transport, Sigue Sigue Sputnik just looked like a bunch o fannies and nothing would ever taste as good as a Pot Noodle (though there was a certain tablet available that made jet packs, Bowie and actual food seem totally irrelevant).

The tinfoil coloured dreams kinda slipped away til one day in the early 90's strange bleeping noises were heard to sound a bit like music. The geezer in Avalanche said the noises were off Orbital's Brown album so i bought it and a strange wee love affair with the sound of Sevenoaks began. Dunno why but whenever i hear Orbital i'm reminded of the techno dreams i had as an 8 year old. So twas wi great delight on Saturday that i was back behind the settee of dreams, hiding from the Daleks as Orbital twisted their rib thumpin tunes to a tentful of rhythmic jumpers on the shores of Loch Ness. I last saw them 5 years ago in a tent in Balado and despite the apparent lack of any new choons, they're as groovy as ever and easily the highlight of this year's RockNess.

And that's quite a compliment cos, as Jason, Johnny D, Mand, me, Jules, Jamus, Scottie B, Pudge, Nobby, Stevie D and a good few thousand randoms will testify, Rock Ness was magnificent for several reasons. First up, it's in a beautiful location, right on the south shore of the Ness near the village of Dores. The campsite is spacious wi plenty remarkably clean bogs, washing spaces, barbecue areas and fresh water taps. The sun shone near enough aw weekend. The naturally amphitheatrical (?) gig site comprises two large tents, one shooge (prob too big) main stage and a coupla smaller tents for dj sets and after hours shenanigans (the party pumps til 3, which is a pleasant change from the likes o T in the Park).

But all that cack's superfluous without a barry line up and happy punters and Rock Ness had both in abundance. Check the line up here and take our word for the punters being second to none encountered so far at a festy (Inversneckers, we love you). Funny, friendly, helpful, tolerant and bizarrely dressed by central belt standards- nivir seen so much effort or so much tasteful dayglo paint in ma puff. Seemed like the whole Northern Constabulary was there for the duration but i only saw one gadge bein lifted and, as Jules pointed out, by the nick o the 2 banjoed banterin burdz screamin at the polis leadin him off, he was bein done for nowt more offensive than bigamy. Is bigamy actually very offensive? Sorry if it is.

Special word must go out to the 2 Glaswegian soundin lassies who asked if i was their gran. Possibly the funniest people i've ever met in ma life. I like to think Vera Lynn once sang a song about us. A great weekend, thoroughly recommended and hopefully to be repeated next year. Oh, and judgin by the tricky set he spun on the Rizla Bus, thon Jazzie B fella must surely hail fae Penicuik.

And finally, it has been confirmed that if Scottie B wins a mountain o dosh on the lottery, he's gonna get Daft Punk to play at Muirhoose. James Murphy says he'll warm up on the decks. If no, we're gonna get Damp Punk to play at Pilton. The AKB All Stars will reform to warm up and Drizzly Rascal's rumoured to be mullin an offer, long as he can do an after party dj set in the Gunner.

Block Parties are comin back to North Embra. Watch out world.

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