Monday, 2 February 2009

Scots Wi Whae?

Last 25th o January we celebrated Burns day in fine traditional fashion by getting loadsa Indian, English, Belgian, Welsh and even some Scots peeps to make total fuds o thimsels. We made"kilts" outta last season's almost tartan tablecloths fae Tantra cafe. The English mob slapped blue paint on their coupons (it's true, they've all seen Braveheart and they really think that William Wallace shagged the future queen of England - so who are we to disabuse them of such a ridiculous notion).

We got reekin drunk all afternoon then i stood up and declaimed Tae a Fert, which went down right well (the radge gadgies who couldnae get it were pished enough to laugh along wi everyone else). We ate the very traditional veg pakora and i shwallied 2 miniatures o Bells that Scottie gie'd aes afore we went. All in all a rather tiptop day and i'm sure Mr Burns would've been proud of our bevvied up banter.

Next year i'm bringin nae clothes and a rucsack full o poems, whisky and haggis. Bring it on!


  1. Guid photee of burns night Indian stylee! All good here, pretty quiet with oot yae radgees although ended up pretty boozed up yesteday in CQ watching a couple of games. The tic held for a draw up in Inverness, so gap now 2 points! Hearts lost and the gers won as you will ken all his! where is me Hat thats what i want to know? Uk is covered in Snow but not so much here so i want me hat!


  2. Well on Burn's night I sat in and froze ma skinny erse off. It was 2 days before pay day so a lid was kept on any celebrations.
    Now if yer serious about haggis ye'll need tae be cautious. It's illegal in some countries because of it's content, although i'm quite partial tae sheep offal wrapped in it's own stomach wey oats and whatever else they decide tae mix it wey.
    Veggie haggis doesnae count. It's as much a haggis as Hall's of Broxburns haggis. I'm telling ye - haggis is sheep innards and Hall's only deals in pork products.

    There was potentially the club night of the year on Friday. Marlena Shaw who sung California Soul and the legend Greg Wilson were at The Caves. Efter being told that there were 50 tickets on the door I queued at 7 pm to bag one of they bad boys. I was 30th in the queue so fancied ma chances, and the queue behind me was at aboot 120 deep. At 7.59 the doorman came oot and shouted doon the line "There's only 20 tickets left". Well, you ken me Don. I didnae like the cut ay this boy's gib and let him ken aboot it. I shouted back up the queue "Ye could have telt us that 45 minutes ago ya fanny - so naebody here froze their erses off". The folk in the queue agreed with my tirade so all was not lost. A couple ay pint's in the City Cafe always helps.
    Still, The Gussets are playin their last gig for a year on Saturday 14th at the wee red bar and the Unabombers are playing on the Friday 13th so a right barry birthday extravaganza for me.
    Catch ye soon baw jaws.

  3. Yo Mistah C. Fraid i cannae help you in yer titfertat quest but feel free to don any piece o headgear you find lyin aboot the gaff.

    I watched most o the Liverpool Chelsea game and i have to say that it was a total pile o pish. Having been in the g&t all afternoon, i was a tad blootert so headed home just shy of the first goal goin in. Hohum.

    Quite heart warming to ken that all the cash and "glamour" of the big league don sooth can be just as dull to watch as the shite we're regularly subjected to. I bet the ICT v Tic game was a fantastic spectacle for the assembled 200 teuchters, 3 sheepdog and a coupla thoosand bigots.

    Nae offence Mistah C but it's ay a pleasure for me to see the big guns fae the Weege sheddin points. And i suppose a narrow gap keeps us all on tenterhooks til the end o the season. i care who wins the league - as usual, it's all aboot 3rd place for our mobs.

    Anyway, take care, stay warm and GIVE STYLE.

    Peace and reespeck.

  4. Mistah D. Good on ye for yer ritual bouncer abuse. If it wisnae fir the likes o you the world would be a duller and slightly less just place than it is. I'll bet they beer bellied fuds went home and wept into their horlicks eftir their shifts that night. Well it woulda been tasty if they hud but i suspect no really.

    Aw thon snow's makin me a wee bit hamesick. Yet again this morning i had to stroll the beach wi the dugs by my side. Tis a sair fecht when yer baws are sweaty afore 9 in the morn. Such is my tricky life oot here.

    Big up the Unabombers - that'll be a stoater of the highest order and a wee review fae you widnae go amiss.

    Try no tae drool too much at the Gussets gig. And enjoy, natch.

    As with Mistah C, please do your best to GIVE STYLE.

    Yeehaar. AKB. Jist cos yer a clown etcetra.

  5. PS Stevie, yer right aboot Hall's they only process deid pigs - my uncle Jock ("burrrrp! parrrdon me! cheese costs aboot ehhhhhhh....a hunner cents") used to ken Davie Hall himsel and Mand's ma worked there for years.

    However, yer talkin pish aboot the veggie haggis - it's a fine puddin with a truly sauncie face.